The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Segments
Bedtime Stories
After realizing how few children actually watch the show, Stephen decides to reach out to the youth of America by simplifying the news. Making the show so easy to understand, even a child could follow along. And what better way to get the message across than in the form of a good old-fashioned bedtime story. The lights dim. We see the stage background shift from central park to a playful midnight sky filled with bright stars. Lullaby music plays. Stephen goes into a current news segment. He speaks slowly and calmly. We see images (drawn in crayon) that correspond with the story appear on screen.
A McSteven’s Christmas Guide
The Christmas season is on its way. Red ribbons rest atop new cars, Amazon wish lists pile up, and stockings are overflowing. However those gifts can leave a hole in your wallet, especially if you intend on giving to a wide array of friends and family. Fortunately, Stephen can offer some assistance when it comes to making a gift for that special someone in your life, and only using a few of your every day household items!
[We see Stephen wearing a brown leather jacket with a red button up shirt underneath. He dramatically removes a pair of aviator sunglasses and begins the segment]
“This next one is for that little boy in your life who enjoys shooting stuff. All you need is a bag of jumbo-sized marshmallows, several feet of toilet paper tubes, and the lung capacity of Michael Phelps—and within seconds you have yourself a classic marshmallow shooter with a P.S.I of 850.”
[We see a photo of a young boy, red in the face, blowing into a tube with a gigantic marshmallow blowing out the other end]
Stephen Colbert’s Crystal Ball
From Murder Hornets to global pandemics, the future feels more unpredictable than ever before. Which is why Stephen is on a mission to peer into the future in order to discover the next big tragedy before it’s too late. Wearing a golden vest and oversized genie hat, Stephen focuses on the crystal ball in front of him, attempting to channel the inner working of the universe. He then makes predictions that may seem outlandish on the surface but have some truth to them.
Mystery Jacket
Stephen is always looking to improve the show. Which is why lately he’s come to notice a core element missing in the show; there isn’t enough mystery! It’s all too familiar. He misses the good old days when the audience didn’t know who was going to be hosting. One night it could be Stephen, another night: the woman who played Big Marge in Pee-wee’s Big Adventure could step in and take a crack at hosting. The possibilities were endless! Which is why The Late Show is rolling out a segment chalk full of ambiguity: Stephen’s Mystery Jacket!
A drum roll, the lights dim, and a jacket is brought out and placed on Stephen. He begins to scavenge for clues hidden in each of the pockets, hoping the clues will eventually lead him to the owner of the jacket. Following each big reveal will be a short, but regularly scheduled story centering around that specific jacket.
Story: The NBA Draft
Person: NBA Rookie Draftee: A sports coat is placed on Stephen. The first pocket contains a photo of Golden State Warriors’ point-guard Stephen Curry mid-shot,
“To my biggest fan, welcome to the league,” is written in sharpie along with a Curry’s signature. Another pocket has a Vomibag labeled “Use in Case Drafted to Atlanta Hawks.”
News Source
Stephen is tired of the never-ending volley of inaccurate information some media outlets have been providing to the public. Even the White House itself has led us all astray. It feels as though no one can be trusted. Stephen is determined to expose the many inaccurate statements across all the news platforms by providing the source of their information. Once Colbert reveals the culprit behind the misinformation, one of many outlandish characters step forward from backstage (a monkey, a child, an alien, etc.).
Alternate Reality
Sure, the Trump administration never fails to entertain but Stephen would prefer a world where he didn’t have to cover every GOP hiccup. Which is why he has decided to start a new segment: The Late Show’s Trip to an Alternate Reality, where Stephen travels to a time where Donald Trump isn’t president, but instead, maybe it’s someone more charismatic sitting in the oval office, like former television star Alf. In the alternative universe, things have a special shine to them and Stephen intends on giving us the low down of what’s going on.